Who Is Your Dream Self? (+ Free Printable Workbook)

This time, I’m going to talk about one of the most important concepts in leveling up. When you’re actively trying to change your life and become a new version of yourself, you really need to know what you’re going towards.

The internet is full of self-improvement advice and tips on how to become rich or how to make people like you. But while that content is good in itself, blindly consuming a wide variety of advice in hopes that some of it will magically push you in the direction of happiness and a good life makes little sense.

What you absolutely need to do is spend some time figuring out exactly what it is that you want.

And today, we are specifically talking about who you want to be.

Step by step, we will formulate an image of your dream self.

When you know who she is, you will know what you should do and how you should act in every single situation. You’ll know what to buy and you’ll have more confidence in making decisions.

Alright, let’s get to work! You might want to put on some motivational music and grab a pen and paper.

Answer every question as detailed as possible and feel free to cover topics that aren’t mentioned here, like pets or hobbies. Whatever is important to you matters.

First, let’s go through the questions that will help you figure out who is she.

After that, I’ll explain how you can use this information in your everyday life.

Questions to ask to learn who is she

Ask yourself the following questions to gain a better understanding of who your dream self is:

1. What does she look like?

To make the image of your dream self as clear as possible, you need to really see her in your head. You need to know what her hair looks like and what kind of makeup she wears. Does she have better skin than you? Does she have more poise than you?

2. What does she wear?

Even if you’re not usually particularly interested in clothes, you still want to know what she would wear. Different kinds of clothes affect how you feel about yourself and how you are perceived by others. Would she wear colorful clothes? A certain brand? Cottagecore? Quiet luxury, perhaps?

3. Where does she travel?

Traveling looks very different to different people. Some people prioritize comfort and prefer fancy hotels, while others are all for adventures and look for the road less traveled. But who is she? Where does she travel? How often? Where does she stay? What do her travel days look like?

4. Who are her friends?

Your social circle has a huge impact on your life and your happiness. Your friends can help you reach your goals, they can be there to make an average Thursday magical… Or they might discourage you from following your dreams and drag you in the wrong direction with them. So, who are her friends? What do they do? What places do they frequent?

5. How does she spend her free time?

How you spend your free time says a lot about you. Some people like to lie on the couch watching TV, some work on their novel, others hit the gym, and way too many people waste their evenings away on social media. But what does she do?

6. What does she do on Sunday mornings?

Again, you need to know exactly who your future self is and what she does. Imagine a perfectly normal Sunday morning. What would that be like for her? When does she wake up? What does she do first? What does she eat? Will she stay home or go out?

7. What habits does she have?

I know you want to build some productive habits and stick to them. But which habits would benefit you the most? What does she do every day? What does she prioritize? Perhaps she reads for 30 minutes every day or makes a berry smoothie every afternoon from Monday to Friday?

8. What are things she never does?

Is there something you want to stop doing? Something you know she would never do? Whether it’s a big or small thing, you need to write it down.

9. How does she use social media?

Social media takes up a lot of the average person’s time. How you use it matters because it affects your mood, your goals, and how you view the world. So ask yourself: how does she use social media? Which platforms does she use, and how much? Does she post often, or does she stay off social media most of the time?

10. What books does she read?

If you’re anything like me, you have an endless list of books you want to read at some point. But the question is, which books are on her list? The books that everyone’s currently talking about? Old classics? Historical? In French?

11. What events does she go to?

Would she go to more concerts than you do? Football games? Art exhibitions? Galas? Networking events?

12. How does she treat her friends?

The way you treat yourself matters, but so does how you treat others. Think about how she treats the people around her. Is she a bit more considerate, patient, or warm than you are? Does she put more effort into gifts, does she reach out to her friends more often?

13. How does she walk into a room?

This might sound like a trivial thing, but it’s actually a core question that reveals a lot about your dream self. Does she walk into a room with confidence, elegance, or warmth? The way you present yourself affects how you feel internally, too.

14. What kind of attitude does she have in regards to…

…life?

…money?

…future?

…time? 

16. What standards does she have?

For anyone wishing to level up, setting clear standards is essential. You need to have boundaries in relationships, but you also need to have standards for yourself, for example in regards to the food you eat, your daily routine, and your work.

17. How does she talk about herself?

How you talk about yourself says a lot about how you view yourself and how you assume others view you. So, how does she talk about herself? Perhaps with kindness, pride, or excitement?

How you can become her

Once you have a clear idea of who she is, you of course want to start taking some determined steps toward becoming her.

But how do you do that?

Well, simply by changing how you live your daily life. Even small changes can make a big difference over time.

When you know exactly who she is and you feel like she is a real person you know, you can start living like her. This applies even if you don’t have all the money and resources she has.

There are many perfectly doable things you can incorporate into your life. If your dream self goes to a museum once a month and has a Sunday brunch with croissants and marmalade every week, you can do that too, right away. If she wears colorful clothes, you can start buying those. If she carries a certain designer bag, you can start saving up for it.

You also want to start walking with the same confidence and poise as she does, and setting her standards.

Never tell yourself that change is impossible just because you don’t have the money or it’s not the right time. Change everything you can and see where that takes you.

Little by little, you’ll become more like her, and that’s exactly how you build your future, one step at a time.

Always ask yourself what would she do

One simple change to make is to start asking yourself “What would she do?” on a daily basis.

When you know you should get some work done, but you feel like watching TV, ask yourself “What would she do?” When you’re at the supermarket contemplating between a frozen pizza and Brussels sprouts, ask yourself “What would she do?”

You already have all the answers because you know exactly who she is and what she would do. Now all you need to do is do like her, and eventually, you will be her.

Free printable workbook!

You can simply write down the answers to these questions on a piece of paper if you want to, but you can also download the workbook I made.

It’s a simple printable workbook that guides you through these questions. Get it here!

Start making changes today

Knowing who your dream self is can make changing your life a lot easier. It will help you make the big decisions, like whether you should move to a new city or switch careers. But it will also help you do the right thing when faced with any two choices in everyday life.

I like to revisit this exercise every once in a while to make sure I’m going in the right direction, and also to get some new ideas.

At the very least, you want to do this once a year, but it doesn’t hurt to do it more often than that.

Let me know what you thought about this post, and if you have any questions or ideas for future posts, don’t hesitate to share them! I always love to hear from you.

I have another useful post that is about asking your future self some questions that can help you figure out what you should do. You can find it here!