8 Tips on How to Improve Your Self-Esteem

Pink roses in a valley

Many people have a problem with their self-esteem. Often we are not brought up to accept and value ourselves, which is a shame. But fear not, even as an adult there is a lot you can do to have better self-esteem and be more confident. For a lot of people, adulthood is exactly when they become their confident selves, even if they have been very insecure and shy when they were younger.

If you are just starting your journey of building your self-esteem and trying to become more confident, remember that it may take a long time to reach your goals. The important thing is to believe that you can change and just keep going. In this post, I share my 8 tips on how to improve your self-esteem.

If you want to be successful in life and become the best person you can be, one of the most important things for you to work on, is your self-image. When you believe in yourself, you have the courage to take chances and be your true self in every situation. You can apply for jobs your old self would think are way out of your league. You can start your own business or part ways with friends who are not good for you.

Even though it can take a long time to improve your self-esteem, you can make a big difference in only a few months and be a very different person already in a year. So trust your ability to make progress and take the first step.

1. Pay attention to others, they are not perfect either

This might sound counterproductive, but it is the most useful trick I know. If you feel like you are not good enough, take a close look at other people and their lives. Are the people who seem confident somehow perfect? Are they always funny, reliable, efficient, and wise? Of course not!

Someone might be very good at their work, but they still don’t have many friends to make their workdays fun. Or someone is funny and tells great stories, but they don’t have the skills to get a job they like. Not to mention, that even if a person is considered intelligent or funny, they are not that in everyone’s eyes.

Additionally, a person who is doing great in one area, might not be doing that great in some other area (by society’s standards that is). Meaning, that even if someone has a job you dream of, they maybe don’t have the perfect family life or they live in a city you would never move to.

Of course, they might be perfectly happy with their life, but I just want to remind you of the fact that when you take a good look at people, you’ll notice that they aren’t perfect by your own standards. And at the same time, you don’t question them for believing in themselves and living their best life. So why should you question yourself?

2. Be clear about your insecurities

We all have some insecurities. No one can be perfect and no one is always happy with themselves. But some qualities of ours and lack of certain skills can become a real burden. Battling these insecurities can also help you improve your self-esteem.

What you need to do, is to be very precise about what exactly it is that makes you feel bad about yourself. If it is a skill that would really be of use for you, are you willing to put in the time and learn it?

Even if it is something that would take years to learn, starting today will make you cross the finish line faster. If you are a bit insecure about your nose, just getting a new haircut and acting confident might make you forget about it. If you don’t like being shy, don’t worry, there are plenty of things you can do to overcome that.

Growing older tends to be the best way to become more confident and more at ease with new people, but you can become less shy by actively taking steps to overcome it. This can help you immensely when you are trying to improve your self-esteem.

3. What do you want your strengths to be?

You don’t need to be great at everything. No one does. If you are for example a friendly person with a big heart, you’re a blessing just the way you are. But if there are certain personality traits you would like to have or certain skills you would like to learn, you should focus on them. It never hurts to grow.

Would you like to be more punctual or have better self-discipline? Those are qualities you can work on. The beginning is always difficult, but over the years you will see real progress. And noticing that you can be the person you want to be, will give you a lot of confidence.

4. Give yourself small challenges

Building your self-esteem is a long process and can take years to finish. A good way to take some steps towards your end goal is to set small challenges for yourself. Anything that you can do on a daily basis or every once in a while will slowly give you confidence and help you make steady progress.

You can for example wear clothes that you really like but have thought that others would think are too out there. Or you can strike up a conversation with colleagues that you don’t really know yet.

Successfully completing these kinds of easy challenges will show you, that you are capable of doing those things without having to stress about them. Anything that shows you that you are good the way you are and that people won’t judge you for being yourself, will improve your self-esteem. It is especially beneficial to concentrate on interacting with other people, but you can come up with any kind of challenge that you know would benefit you.

5. Beware of negative self-talk

How we talk to ourselves matters. If you’re always criticizing yourself for the smallest mistakes or only concentrating on what you don’t like about yourself, you’re negatively affecting your whole self-image. We all have negative qualities, but there’s no need to dwell on them. Try to learn to recognize negative self-talk, so that when you have a negative thought about yourself, you can intervene and tell yourself that you’re actually not that bad or that it really isn’t true what you just told yourself.

Try to switch the negative self-talk to something more positive. If you don’t like the shape of your nose, pay more attention to your eyes or something else that you do like. If you didn’t do too well in an exam or a presentation, think about what you can do to perform better next time and what did you do well already this time.

6. List things you’re good at

One great way to boost your self-esteem is to remind yourself of all the things you’re good at and of all your good personality traits. Sometimes it might be hard to remember, but we are all special and lovely in our own way. And all of us have some skills that others don’t have.

Try to list as many positive things about yourself as you can. Do you always remember everyone’s birthday? That makes people feel you care about them. Are you always on time? That shows you’re responsible. Do you like to doodle? That means you’re creative.

It’s good to list your strengths any time you’re feeling a bit down. You can also save your list in case you might need a reminder in the future. You can also add new things to the list as you learn new things about yourself or maybe learn some new skills.

7. Train yourself to act confident

One way to improve your self-esteem is to act confident even when you don’t feel like it. In other words, you have to fake it till you make it.  Stand straight, speak in a clear loud voice, and act as if you knew what you were doing even when you don’t. If you feel like slouching in your chair or humming a song, just go for it.

Who cares what people think? Especially because they’ll probably hardly notice. As you take steps to be more confident, you will also notice that you start to trust your abilities more, and as a result, you will feel better about yourself.

Make sure you’re not constantly wondering what other people think of you. First of all, their opinion of who you are doesn’t matter. It’s what you think of yourself that matters. And I can’t stress this enough: people don’t pay that much attention.  They won’t notice if you say something a little funny or if your ideas aren’t the very best. As long as you treat people with respect, they have no reason to think badly of you. Just be yourself, that is enough.

8. Ask your family and friends to give you feedback

Sometimes it might be hard to come up with a long list of good qualities about yourself. Or maybe a list you yourself have written is not convincing enough. In that case, turning to your family and friends might just be the way to go. They see things in you that you yourself might not notice.

If you ask people close to you what they like about you or what they think are your strengths, you are likely to notice that you’re actually doing pretty fine and you have a lot of good qualities. That can definitely improve your self-esteem. Not to mention these kinds of conversations can be very interesting to have anyway!

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Have you struggled with your self-esteem? Do you often beat yourself up? Let me know in the comments what you think of this topic. And if you liked the post, pin it or share it!

40 Comments

  1. Ah, self-esteem. My oldest enemy lol. This is a great list and definitely something that everyone should incorporate into their lives. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Thank you so much for this post. Those are some really tips. I can definitely always use self esteem tips, as poor self esteem is something that I struggle with. Look forward to reading more of your blog posts.

  3. This is a great post with lots of wonderful tips! Self-esteem is something we have to address more often and learn how to improve. Thank you for this!

  4. What a lovely post – I love reading on topics such as self-esteem and confidence! Listing the things you like about yourself can be an amazing way to give yourself a little boost and realize that you are super cool 🙂 I love the colors and theme of your blog by the way – we have a very similar aesthetic!!

    1. Awesome, I’m glad to hear that! Yes and many of us like to write lists anyway, so why not write one that makes you feel good? Thank you! 🙂

  5. Love your blog name ! Genius. Such a great post, anyone can benefit from reading this as self esteem is a long standing battle we have with ourselves. Thank you for this! I have a blog post related to this too!

    1. Haha thank you! That’s so nice to hear, because it was so hard to come up with a blog name! I certainly hope this will be a helpful post for many.

  6. These are great tips! I wasn’t always a super confident person, but lately I’ve been feeling super confident. It definitely helps to notice that everyone around you isn’t as perfect as they seem and everyone is just trying their best.

    1. That’s so great to hear! Yes, I agree. After all we are all pretty much the same in the sense that (almost) no one is super confident. But it never hurts to work on your self-esteem.

  7. I LOVE these especially number 3 and 4 which really made me think. I will be re-reading this and make some type of exercise with it because this is really important to remind ourselves and help our self esteem.

  8. I love this post. Confidence is really key and it’s so important for us to build that up for ourselves. These were some really good tips. Thanks for sharing

    1. I really hope these tips work for you! Just keep in mind that no one is perfect. People just try their best to look perfect in other people’s eyes.

  9. Being honest with yourself about what your insecurities are and why is difficult, but definitely something that helps. It’s a lifelong process learning to love yourself.

    1. That’s very true, you can always get better. And I think that’s something that’s fun about life, there’s always something new to learn 🙂 Loving yourself being a very important lesson.

  10. I love the ‘train yourself to look confident advice!” That is a great tip! I don’t always struggle with self-esteem but I do run the risk of not appearing confident if I’m not overly interested in something or if I feel a decision has already been made about something and my opinion is not going to matter anyway. Great article!

    1. I totally understand! It’s hard to always be confident, but it is also something we can learn. One day at a time it will get easier. And don’t think your opinion doesn’t matter! Every person makes a difference in the group, even if they don’t feel like it.

  11. this is a great reminder! avoiding negative self talk is so important! Everyday is a work in progress it will also help to write down strength and weaknesses

    1. That’s so true! It’s important to keep in mind that self-esteem is a work in progress and we don’t need to be perfect today. We just have to take little steps every day 🙂

  12. I love this post as I have always struggled with self-esteem, though it definitely fluctuates. Thank you for sharing such useful tips 🙂

    1. I think it fluctuates for most people, the important thing is to keep moving and try to work on ourselves 🙂

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