How to Take Charge of Your Own Life

Do you feel like your life is nothing like what you want it to be? Do you have a habit of making new plans and deciding to start a new life – only to discover that your life hasn’t changed one bit?

Let me tell you, I’ve been there. It’s not easy to make your big dreams come true or change your behavior. And at some point, you’ll likely notice that a few years have gone by and nothing much has changed. It’s not a fun situation.

What you need to do now is to take charge of your own life. Time is running and you need to admit that you have to make big changes and actually change your behavior and your mindset if you want to make those big goals of yours a reality.

In this post, I will cover some ways to start taking charge of your own life and actions, so that you can finally start making a real change.

1. Get rid of victim mentality

I often hear people complaining about how hard and unfair life is and how most of us simply don’t have the same opportunities as others.

But you need to get rid of this victim mentality. It doesn’t matter whether the world is fair or not. You still have a chance to make your life better and if you don’t even try, the only person you can blame is yourself.

Don’t waste your time thinking about how hard everything is, that just makes everything hard. Most of the time, things aren’t nearly as difficult as you first think anyway.

2. Figure out who you need to be

If you want to change your life, you need to change yourself too. You need to think and act differently. Think about your dream self and figure out what characteristics you need, like being brave, efficient, or outgoing. 

If you wish you weren’t so shy, take charge of your own life and make a plan to overcome your shyness. It’s very much possible and you don’t need to wait to simply let age do it for you.

The changes you need to make likely aren’t even that big and the person you wish to become is already within you. You just need to start acting like your true self.

Related article: An 8-Step Guide to a Life Audit That Will Transform Your Future

3. Make a plan

Once you know what exactly you want from your life, you need to make a plan.

Think about how it would be possible to reach your goals and get your dream life. List all the things that you really need to change, like quitting bad habits or making new friends.

You don’t need to have all the answers yet, but you need to have a general idea of how you can get the life you want. And the most important thing is to know what it is that you should do first.

4. Set clear goals

As the name of my blog suggests, I’m all about goals. And I think one of the best ways to take action towards that better future you’ve been dreaming of is to set goals.

Think about where you would like to be in 5 or 10 years and then set achievable goals that can take you there.

For example, if you dream of being a published author, you can set a goal to write for two hours a day for the next two months or to have a rough idea for your book by the end of the month.

Just remember that your goals really need to be as clear as possible for them to work.

5. Change your mindset

Mindset is everything, especially when it comes to taking charge of your own life. You can’t be pessimistic or have a lack mentality if you want to make significant changes in your life.

The people who focus on the chance that everything will go well do much better in life than those who dwell on the possibility of failure. I’ve seen this so many times in my life and if you think about all the people you know, I’m sure you’ve seen it too.

Identify how your current mindset is holding you back and come up with ways to change it. It can take quite some time to start thinking differently, but I assure you it will be worth it.

6. Don’t let yourself slack

Although I keep saying that things tend to be easier than you might think, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to do any work at all or that every day will be a walk in the park.

Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone, sometimes you have to do things you don’t feel like doing, and sometimes doing the same things and productive habits every day gets boring.

But no matter how uncomfortable you might feel, you can’t give up and you shouldn’t let yourself slack. Look at your current life and ask yourself why you need to change. Let it motivate you to keep going.

7. Use a time tracker

One of the most important things to consider is time. And whether we like to admit it or not, we tend to waste an awful lot of it.

One great way to have a better idea of how you spend your time is to use a time tracking app. You can track how much time you spend on your phone, but you can also manually track how much time different activities take and see how you could save some time.

Setting a timer before you start a certain activity, like writing something, will also help you become more efficient.

8. Don’t make things too hard

I can’t stress this enough, but things really tend to be much easier than you think. People often waste time thinking about all the pros, cons, and risks of every action, when they could just as well be doing what they already deep down know to be the right thing to do.

Last fall I was thinking about joining a certain membership, but it cost over 500 euros. Now, I could have told myself that it’s too expensive or I could have spent hours wondering whether I should join or not. But instead, I simply got a part-time job, made that 500 in a matter of days, and just like that I didn’t have a problem anymore.

Instead of making things harder than they need to be, just come up with solutions and stop wasting your time pondering whether this or that would be a better action to take. You will be fine either way.

Also, often when you decide to take a chance, you get something unexpected out of it. Like when I took a lousy job to earn that 500, I also ended up learning invaluable speaking skills and I became more confident. And that’s just from the job – the membership itself has been much more valuable.

9. Stop kidding yourself

Some people are full of excuses, but you can’t be one of them. Stop telling yourself that it’s all about luck, privilege, or money. If you want something, you need to come up with a way to get it.

Thinking that some people just aren’t meant to have a nice life or be happy doesn’t help you. You need to take responsibility for your own life and stop telling yourself that things just magically happen if they are meant to happen. It’s your own actions that matter.

10. Just tell yourself “It’s probably gonna work out”

Last but not least, it helps to be positive and simply brush off any doubts and concerns by telling yourself that it’s all going to work out just fine.

It sounds awfully simple, but it does work for me and saves me time overthinking and double-checking things.

There might be challenges and setbacks along the way, but so what? Just keep going, learn from your mistakes, and try again if something doesn’t work the first time.

Time to make the change

You have to understand that you really are in charge of your own life, your happiness, your future, how much money you have, what kind of friends you have, whether you can travel or not, and so on.

I know you have big dreams and you need to do something about them. I have seen over and over how achievable many dreams become when you simply have the courage to act. 

Me writing this post at the State Library of New South Wales in the middle of April, without having to worry about money or tomorrow, is in itself a dream come true. This is what I want my life to be like.

I also know many people who have had the courage to go after their crazy dreams and then surprised everyone by how well their life turned out.

So stop holding yourself back and take charge of your own life and happiness. You have what it takes to make it all happen. Just believe in yourself.

Next, check out these yearly goals you should set for yourself!

And if you are serious about changing your life, sign up for my newsletter to get motivational emails and tips! When you sign up, you will also get my free 30-day challenge that will help you start changing your life right now.