What Leveling Up Should Never Be

Do you want to know something? I’m actually kind of wary of using the term ‘level up’ to begin with because people might understand it completely wrong.

What I mean by it is improving your life on your own terms, systematically changing it one thing at a time to reach the next level on your own scale of what a good life means to you. That’s why I constantly talk about taking time to think about what you want from your life, and how important it is to ignore societal pressure and whatever your friends and family say or do.

However, I’m not the only person talking about leveling up, and sometimes that leads to small misunderstandings, but also to people dismissing the whole concept.

That’s why I want to share a few thoughts on what leveling up means to me and what I don’t want it to mean to you (or anyone else).

You don’t need to look nouveau riche

Depending on what corners of the internet you frequent, the whole concept of changing your life might revolve around looks and status items, making you feel like what you yourself need to do is invest in some luxury bags and move to a fancier-looking apartment. It’s so very easy to be influenced by what you see online and what you think your in-group does.

But this whole thing is really about your one precious life. Don’t waste it doing things that you deep down know aren’t for you. And don’t waste your money on things you don’t actually like.

You don’t need to strive to be rich

Money is fun, money is freedom, but it’s not everything. Yet seemingly everywhere I look, people are talking about making more money and setting bigger and bigger financial goals for themselves, even when there’s no basis for those goals.

I’ve even heard people being criticized for not caring to make arbitrary extra thousands per month, or being content with their current income.

If you know what you want from life and you know that you need to increase your income to make that happen, by all means, come up with a plan to make more money. If you happen to be one of those few people who genuinely want to strive to be rich, go ahead.

But if your dreams align with the average person, why waste your time chasing promotions and starting new side hustles? Focus on what makes you happy and what is right for you, whatever it is.

You don’t need to adopt a new identity

If you start looking for leveling up advice online, you’ll find plenty of blog posts, podcasts, and communities that can give you new ideas about what you want from your life. They’re inspiring, they’re intriguing, and they can so easily make you feel like you need to become a whole new person – of a very specific kind.

But the thing is, you don’t necessarily need to adopt a new identity or go all in on a certain mindset or lifestyle.

You shouldn’t add things to your life that don’t truly align with who you want to be and what you want your life to look like.

That being said, sometimes the new identity is exactly what you need. But it needs to come from within, and it needs to be built by you. Be careful not to be too influenced by people who at the end of the day don’t even have the kind of life you want.

You don’t need to get a husband

Does this sound funny or too obvious? I hope it does, but it’s not once or twice that I’ve seen someone online talking about having leveled up their life when what really changed for them was finding a man who pays for the nice apartment, the expensive clothes, and occasional visits to fancy restaurants.

There’s nothing wrong with looking for a man who can help you reach your dreams, but it doesn’t make sense to base your whole future on someone else’s shoulders. You need to do the work yourself and make sure that you don’t fall straight back to square one if the relationship doesn’t last.

You shouldn’t fake anything

It really bothers me how common it is for people to fake their life online. I’m not talking about the usual highlighting of the good bits and not advertising your downfalls to the whole world. That’s perfectly fine.

But it’s not once or twice I’ve seen (and I’m sure you have, too) someone fabricating their whole image online, pretending to live lavishly, until one day the facade shatters, and most of the story was fake. And the thing is, there’s no need for anyone to pretend to be something they are not.

You don’t need to be more sophisticated, experienced, rich, or interesting than you are, not for anyone else. You don’t need to put on a facade or pretend that you are already something you aren’t yet. It’s ok to take your time and be yourself, even if it doesn’t live up to someone else’s expectations. What matters is your own expectations and the fact that you work for your future.

Only you can truly know what leveling up means to you

This is so important to internalize. You really shouldn’t care about whatever anyone else thinks or says. Only you can know what you need in your life and what leveling up means to you. If someone says that you need to get a better job or find a husband, but you are perfectly happy where you are, you should just ignore them. It’s a skill to learn if it feels difficult right now.

Take your time to figure out who your dream self is and what is worth striving for. If a little extra money sounds nice, but you value the extra time more, don’t feel forced to get a higher-paying job that is more demanding, or starting a side hustle just because you see someone (perhaps me) recommending it. You need to pick and choose what you want in your life, and ignore the rest.

I suggest you take some pen and paper and list what leveling up means to you. What would make your life better? What would make you feel like you have started a new, better life?

Don’t feel like you have to have all the answers right now. All you need is a few things that you know would take at least one part of your life to the next level. Then you can start taking action.