Wrong Dreams and Goals

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in life? Like you have the wrong dreams and goals? Or that your past is holding you back? Because let me tell you, that’s exactly how I feel.

There are so many things I do just because I’ve always done them, so many dreams I have because I don’t know any better and so many pointless daily habits I have just because I don’t have the courage to completely change myself and become the person I want to be. These are simply wrong goals for me and it’s best to get rid of them.

Of course, change is always a journey and it all takes time. The important thing is that you don’t stop trying and taking new chances.

You have to remember that it might not be possible to get “everything” in life. But you can get what is important. You always have a choice in life. That is why you have to focus on making your most important goals and biggest dreams come true and ditch the ones that no longer serve you. You can start by asking yourself these four questions:

Are your dreams being influenced by others?

Sometimes we dream of things that we ourselves didn’t come up with. Dreams that the society or the people around us promote and talk about, which makes us think that that’s what we want too.

The most common dream that people have is a family, a nice house, maybe a dog, and being able to travel. That’s a good dream to have if that’s what you really want.

But sometimes we are led to believe this is the ideal life and what we truly want (or will want as we get older), even though it isn’t true. Some people want to have children, some people don’t. Some people are at their best in a relationship, whereas some others are doing great on their own and really enjoy the freedom.

There are no right or wrong dreams in general, but there are right and wrong dreams for you and there are goals that conflict with each other. That’s why you have to ask yourself, is the future you picture yourself having truly what you want, or is it just what you’ve been taught you should want?

I know it can be hard to for example decide to stay single when everyone around you seems to be in a relationship or at least talking about them, but if that is what’s right for you, that’s what you should do.

Keep in mind, that even though some people (possibly your relatives) like to ask about your relationship status, it doesn’t mean that they actually care all that much. And even if they do, it’s still none of their business. You are the one living your life and your decisions only affect you.

If someone likes to harass you with repetitive questions every time they see you, it’s not your shame. Dare to you your own thing.

What was only good for the younger version of you?

When I was 18, my biggest dream was to become a film director. Films were my life and I wouldn’t even consider studying anything else but filmmaking. I spent two years studying film and I did have a wonderful time, but then my interests started to shift.

At first, I felt like I was betraying myself, for daring to even think about anything else than film! I thought that I was somehow weak or not determined enough because I wasn’t working hard on my big dream of becoming a film director.

But as time went by, I finally had to admit that a career in film just wasn’t right for me. Now I’m just so glad I was never accepted to one of the better film schools and instead, I went to get a university degree. As I saw how much people struggled to get any jobs in the film industry, I was so grateful that I had a normal, good degree that would probably lead me to a normal, good job.

It is always important to be honest with yourself and have the courage to ask yourself if this really is what you still want? As we grow up and learn to understand ourselves and life better, our dreams and goals are likely to change.

It doesn’t make any sense to hold on to old dreams just because you have already worked for them, maybe for years.

It’s the same as in poker: you shouldn’t continue just because you have already invested in the game and bet some money – if you have a weak hand, the smartest move is to fold.

What dreams don’t really matter?

I have a lot of different dreams, some bigger and some smaller. I think pretty much everyone is like that: we have those big dreams, like moving to Tokyo or having a big family, that we think about every day and we can’t wait for them to come true.

But at the same time, we like to imagine how lovely it would be to live by the beach and do nothing all day or own a parrot or how it’d be fun to learn to play the piano.

There’s nothing wrong with those small and silly dreams per se, but it’s important to know what are your real goals in life and what are those things that sound like fun, but that maybe don’t matter that much or that probably wouldn’t be right for you anyway.

You have to focus on what is truly important for you and work hard for those goals. Many goals require a lot of work and take years and years to achieve.

You simply don’t have time for secondary dreams that don’t even matter that much to you. Maybe in the future when the time is right you can buy the parrot, but right now you have to make sure that you are doing your best to reach the goals that truly matter.

What goals don’t align with your other goals?

Sometimes we have a clear idea of our ideal future and we have a list of all the goals we want to achieve. But the problem is that some of the goals simply don’t align with each other. I often dream of living in different countries, but at the same time, I really want to build a life in one place.

And even after years of wondering where I’d love to live, I simply don’t quite know. Not to mention moving to another country is not a walk in the park, even if you already speak the language or don’t have to worry about resident permits and time limits.

When trying to figure out what are your most important goals and what are the goals you’d better leave behind, one of the most important things to ask yourself is whether you can combine all your goals or not. You might have to put some goals on hold to be able to work on some others.

I know making these kinds of big decisions can be extremely hard, but they are the decisions you simply have to make if you’re serious about creating the kind of future that you dream of. Keep in mind that just because you decide to not work on a certain goal now, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get back to it in the future.

Related article: 100 Lists to Make that Will Help You to Reach Your Goals

Conclusion

What are your biggest dreams? Have you already achieved something you dreamed about for years? Have you already ditched some wrong dreams and goals you realized weren’t right for you? Let me know in the comments below! And remember to pin this post if you liked it!