8 Simple Steps to Grow Through What You Go Through

Everything you go through, grows you.
– Robert Tew

How do you grow through the hardest things you have to go through? It’s not easy and it certainly isn’t very fun. But life comes with difficulties and the best thing you can do is to try to see the positive side when possible and learn from every experience.

Some experiences are so awful you for sure won’t be thinking about growing through them, but since you are here, I assume you are going through something difficult that still isn’t the end of the world. It’s a perfect chance to grow as a person and I respect your choice to aim to do that.

Now, let’s get to it. Here are eight simple steps you can take to make sure that the tough times don’t go to waste and that you will come out of it stronger and wiser.

1. Accept all your emotions

One important thing to do is to always accept your emotions. Some feelings are so awful you wish you could just press a button to make them gone. And sometimes you simply get tired of being sad, or worried, or embarrassed.

But to be human is to feel things and we can’t make strong feelings go away easily. What you should do, is understand what exactly you are feeling and accept that. After that, you can try to deal with your emotions and see if you could do something about them to move on.

2. Dare to let go

Sometimes something you have already experienced still haunts you and you might even get several reminders about it every day. That’s not fun.

If you can, try to put some things behind you. For example, if you were fired from your job and thinking about it makes you feel bad, get rid of the coffee mug and lanyard they gave you or unfriend some of your colleagues that you’re not even talking with on Facebook.

It’s also important to mentally let go of the past. After a difficult breakup, you might feel like there is nothing left or you don’t even know who you are anymore. In this situation, you have to accept the fact that that relationship is behind, but you also need to keep in mind that this is a new beginning.

The world is big and full of opportunities and a couple of years later your life could be much better than you could ever have imagined.

3. Think about how your experience can help you later

This is possibly the most important step to take when you want to grow through something difficult. Hard times are a part of life, but you can learn something from each of them.

Think about what you can learn from this experience. Has it made you understand something fundamental about life? Did you pick any useful skills? Are you now more resistant or do you know yourself better? Are you better at handling tough times or focusing on the task at hand even when there’s too much going on in your head?

4. Remember that feelings are only feelings

This is one of the biggest lessons I myself have learned from the bad experiences in my life. Feelings are real, but they don’t necessarily reflect the situation accurately.

Just because you are scared, doesn’t necessarily mean that you or someone else is in danger or that the situation is any worse than it was before. And just because you feel really sad, doesn’t mean that the situation is as hopeless as you think.

Sometimes you can go from feeling neutral to sinking in agony in 15 minutes simply because you got a reminder of something you didn’t want to remember.

And the most comforting fact to know is that even if you feel like there’s no way out and your life is ruined, there is a good chance that your life will be good again and you will be happy. You don’t know how it will happen yet, but life is full of surprises.

5. Have the courage to get out of the situation

Sometimes people get stuck in a bad situation, although there is a way out. Often this happens when you’re in a bad relationship.

If you were in a bad accident, you obviously can’t simply walk out of the situation. But if you for example are in a relationship where you feel the other person doesn’t respect you or want to spend time with you anymore and you suffer because of it daily, that’s when it’s time to think about getting out of that situation.

Remember that there are many paths in life and there isn’t only one path that leads to you being happy. Just because this relationship or career or country isn’t for you, doesn’t mean that something better isn’t waiting for you.

6. Take breaks

You don’t have to deal with everything at once. If it’s getting too hard and overwhelming, you can try to take a break from it all.

You are not required to feel certain feelings if you don’t feel them. You are allowed to take breaks from grief. No matter the situation, you have every right to be happy and do something fun when possible.

Try to get your mind off of the bad things every once in a while. Go for a walk, watch an inspiring movie, see a friend, or go horse riding. Anything you enjoy can help you.

7. Remember that one experience doesn’t define you

Did you get fired and that made you feel like a failure? Did you start your own business, but it went on the rocks not long after launching? Have people you care about turned their backs on you?

Whatever has happened to you, doesn’t define you. You are many things and this one experience is just one tiny part of your story. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It doesn’t mean that you couldn’t succeed the next time.

Don’t let yourself think that this one experience defines who you are and what your future will be like. You can be exactly who you want to be and you can build any kind of future you want.

8. Choose to be brave

If you are going through something very scary or you need to do something really big to get out of the situation, you can choose to be brave.

It can be much better for you yourself to take the big scary step now instead of letting this situation last for years. Maybe you should just quit your job or break up or move somewhere new. Maybe you should block a certain person from your life.

Remember that being brave is all about the actions you take, not about how you feel. You can choose to do something even if it makes you nervous or downright scared. You have the courage within you.

It can be very hard to grow through whatever you are going through, but do try. It will make you stronger and one day you will thank yourself.

If you are going through tough times right now, here are some other articles that you might find helpful:

When is Enough Enough? 6 Signs You Need to Move On

How to Embrace Failure Instead of Giving Up