How to Stop Thinking About the Past and Focus on Your Future

I know all too well what it’s like to dwell on the past and hold on to it even when you should put all your focus on building your future. While it can be hard to let go, it’s important that you put your energy into the present and build the best future you can have. That’s why I’m sharing my best tips on how to stop thinking about the past with you.

Whether you’re pining over old relationships, your childhood, or lost opportunities, you have to learn to focus on the present moment. Past events and bad things that happened years ago shouldn’t come in the way of your happiness. The same goes for past mistakes: sometimes things go wrong, it’s part of life. But you deserve to move on and be happy.

While it can definitely be hard to overcome the negative feelings that you have about things that happened in the past, it’s still very much doable. And even though the best memories from your childhood or people you once knew should always be a part of you, it doesn’t do to hold on to them too tightly and forget to live.

Get busy with your current life

If you’re always thinking about the past, it could simply be because you don’t have enough going on in your life right now. It’s perfectly natural to think about the past, but if it happens all the time and you feel like you can’t move on, that’s a problem you should fix.

If you have unanswered questions about something that happened in the past or you still have anxious thoughts about a past traumatic event, it might be best to get professional help to deal with what happened and finally move on.

Past trauma can be very hard to overcome and sometimes it’s not possible to completely put it behind. But even then, you can learn new ways to handle the negative thoughts and make more space for the positive things in your life.

But if you’re ruminating over the past simply out of habit, you should learn to focus on the present. This is an important part of personal growth and it will help you be happier. Start doing more things that you enjoy and maybe make new friends. The more good things you have in your life and the more you have going on, the easier it is to stop thinking about the past too much.

Why you need to stop thinking about the past

Sometimes we think about the past because it was so wonderful and sometimes it’s because something bad happened and we can’t push those negative experiences and bad feelings aside.

But the thing is, no matter what your past was like, you can’t let it stand in the way of your future. And you shouldn’t let it keep you from living in the moment. Life is here and now. If you spend too much time in your head, you will end up regretting that later on.

Also, if you’re ruminating over past experiences that caused you pain, you’re just adding more pain to your life. It’s best to take action and start looking for possible solutions that will help you let go of the past. Over time, you will be able to remember the positive experiences and good times instead of the bad ones and you will be much happier with your life overall.

Funnily enough, good memories can sometimes become a problem too, if they make your current life feel less valuable. Remember that it’s a beautiful thing that something so wonderful happened in the past that your mind keeps going back to it all the time. But your life is precious and there are many great things still to come. Spend time finding new friends, hobbies, and experiences that will make this time just as good as the past.

Tips on how to stop thinking about the past

Learning to stop focusing on the past and how to keep your thoughts in the present is a process. Don’t expect to be able to leave all those thoughts and feelings behind today. Instead, consider this a journey that will help you start feeling better about the life you have now and make space for something new.

Go through the following list of ways to help you stop thinking about the past. Choose the things that you think will work in your situation and write them down so that you don’t forget them. Every time you try to change your habits or set a new goal, the biggest problem is that you are likely to forget all about your plan in a couple of days. That’s why you need to make sure that you don’t forget your plan this time.

Take time to go through your thoughts and feelings and have a plan in place for those times when you are suddenly reminded of something that happened in the past and your mind starts going down the same rabbit hole again.

1. Accept your past mistakes

The very first step you should take in order to let go of your past is to accept your past mistakes. Sometimes they can be really hard to accept, but you have to be kind to yourself and remember that human beings simply make mistakes. You can’t live your life without taking a couple of wrong turns every now and then. It’s part of life.

I am still sad about the fact that I unknowingly let go of some of my best friends when I was a teenager. But I have learned to think fondly of the old memories with my friends and be grateful that I got the time we had. And who knows, maybe one day we’ll meet again.

It’s best to be grateful for the good things you’ve had in your life instead of making yourself feel bad by wondering why the good times didn’t last longer.

2. Get excited about your future

Whether you feel like your past was good or bad, it’s time to get excited about your future. Life is a big adventure and you have the power to make it better. It’s too easy to just stick to your daily routines and feel like life has nothing exciting to offer. But it does. No matter where you are in life right now, you can change it if you want to.

It’s always best to try to focus on the future instead of the past. For example, I wish I would have moved to the UK before Brexit happened. This is one of the biggest regrets in my life. But instead of blaming myself for not moving to the UK when it would have been really easy, I choose to be excited about the future I’ll have there. Why be sad about something that is still in front of you?

3. Stop intrusive thoughts when they come

We all have unwanted thoughts sometimes, but if you are constantly having intrusive and obsessive thoughts about the past, you have to make a conscious effort to get rid of them. These kinds of repetitive thoughts can really take a toll on your mental health and they stand in the way of your happiness.

It’s possible that you accidentally start ruminating the same old thoughts every time something reminds you of them. Try to stop these kinds of thoughts immediately, without letting them become anything else but passing thoughts. You can come up with some happy topic to think about for whenever you notice you’re approaching a forbidden territory again.

If a traumatic experience from the past still bothers you and you can’t cope with it by yourself, do turn to mental health professionals. You deserve to feel good and live your life without having certain past situations or awful memories pop into your mind several times a day.

4. Write your thoughts down

One of the best ways to stop focusing on your past is by writing your thoughts down. Journaling is something I recommend to everyone because it helps you clear your mind and understand your thoughts and feelings better.

When you have to put your thoughts into actual words and write them on paper, they become clearer and more manageable. Sometimes you can find new solutions in a matter of minutes, even if you feel like your problem is impossible to fix.

Often there are things in the back of your mind that you don’t even realize are there. Writing can help you access these thoughts and slowly but surely move on.

5. Practice gratitude

Oftentimes we are so busy with our daily lives and simply thinking about all the negative aspects of it, that we forget to really look at our lives and pay attention to all the things that are going well right now.

You need to start counting your blessings on a daily basis. Replace negative thinking with happy thoughts and gratitude. Perhaps you have an easy job or you live in an idyllic area. Maybe you get to travel a lot or you have wonderful pets. Think of all the different people in your life and how they make it better. Every friend and family member adds something to your life.

​Start listing three things you are grateful for every day and you will quickly start appreciating the life you have more.

6. Accept your feelings

You need to deal with your feelings about the past and go through them. While it’s not good to dwell on the negative emotions about the past, they are often something you need to deal with to be able to overcome them.

It’s not fun to have flashbacks or constantly be thinking about something that happened 15 years ago. If you have a trusted friend you can share anything with, talk about your feelings with them. It’s easier to cope with mistakes, the loss of something really valuable, and sad memories when you don’t have to deal with it all by yourself. Deep breathing helps too.

7. Analyze what went wrong

While it’s not fun to remember old mistakes, the good news is that you don’t have to repeat them. Consider mistakes as learning lessons. Analyze what went wrong and then think about how you can prevent the same mistakes in the future. This way you can start seeing some old memories in a more positive light.

If you have been in bad relationships before, think about how you can better recognize the people who would be a good match for you and think about ways to make sure you can have a healthy relationship with your future partner. If you have lost promising work opportunities, try to understand why that was and what you can do to increase your chances to get that job of your dreams.

8. Get more serious about your future with new goals

Whatever happened in the past is spilled milk now. What you should focus on, is your future. Make sure that your future is better than your past by setting some new goals that will help you make your life a lot better.

To change your life, you need to know what exactly you what to achieve, come up with a plan to make it happen, and take responsibility for your own actions. No matter how big your goals are, chances are they are more realistic than you think.

Think about how you can make changes in your daily life that will help you get closer to your goals. Take at least one small step forward every day. Over time, those small actions and new habits will change your life.

9. Exercise more

​If you want to be happier, one of the first things you should do is exercise more. Even a little bit of exercise can make you feel better. While your physical health is of course important on its own, being able to better focus on your current life is one more good reason to start going for runs or doing yoga.

Exercise is a healthy way to deal with any emotional pain you might have and to take your mind off things that you know you shouldn’t be ruminating over. If you feel like right now you can’t go to the gym or go jogging, at least go for short walks. They can help a lot too.

10. Read more​

Reading is always a good idea. You can look for books that address the problems you are trying to solve or the kind of experiences you’ve had. Even if you feel like you’re problems aren’t that big or that they’re not really even real problems, it can still help to do some reading.

It’s not only non-fiction that can help you though. Reading books is a great way to gain new perspectives and have someone to relate to, even if that someone is just a fictional character. Go get a couple of new books and see if they help you!

11. Talk out loud to yourself

This might sound funny, but it works. Talking to yourself is a great way to put your thoughts into words and to better understand what you are feeling and thinking. It can have a similar effect as talking about your problems to someone else.

The good thing about talking to yourself is that you really don’t have to worry about being judged or misunderstood, no matter what you say. Be real with yourself and let yourself feel all the emotions you have. Whatever you have in your mind is worth saying.

12. Declutter your life

It’s not just your thoughts that matter, but your surroundings too. Consider throwing away things that remind you of your past, if they don’t bring you happiness. You don’t have to hold on to things that remind you of painful memories.

If you follow or are Facebook friends with people who don’t make you feel good, you have every right to unfollow them. It’s common to be Facebook friends with people you knew in middle school or high school, but if you never talk with them and simply seeing their status updates reminds you of some years you’d rather not remember, you are absolutely allowed to unfollow them.

Final thoughts on how to stop thinking about the past

The goal is to learn to reminisce in a way that makes you smile but doesn’t make you feel bad about your current life and to accept the bad things that happened, but not let them define your whole life. Don’t blame yourself for things you did when you didn’t know any better. Everyone makes mistakes and bad things happen. But these things don’t define your life.

One of the greatest lessons in life is to learn to enjoy it to the fullest. You are here right now and the best way to spend this day is to enjoy all the things that you can enjoy, all the while working on building an even better future.

It can be really difficult to learn to stop thinking about the past. Pay attention to what in your daily life triggers you to think about things that happened a long time ago. This way you will learn to avoid constantly thinking about the same old things.

There are many different ways to stop focusing on the past and start living in the moment. I hope the above tips help you the next time you are having a hard time. Take small, simple steps forward. That will change your feelings about the past in the long run.

It’s in human nature to think too much, so you shouldn’t feel bad about having a hard time letting go of the past. Everyone struggles with this sometimes. Be proud of yourself for getting through the difficult times and think fondly of the beautiful times you had in the past, even if you are sad that those times are now gone.

If you found these tips helpful, make sure to share this post on social media. And let me know which tip you think is the most useful one!

Next, find out how you can grow through the things you are going through!